The Wannabe Parents

I have always wanted to be a mum....I want to experience how it is to carry such precious child in my womb....feeling those gentle kicks and punches...but not all are given such great opportunity.  At my age, and my husband's age, we are racing against time and against gravity.  We were both anxious about the what ifs. The older we become, the more chances of having a baby with different medical conditions --down syndrome, autism are just two of these scary things.  According to researches, when we get older, the quality of eggs and sperms we produced are not really good not to mention the study on the risks of miscarriages (which is about 20% for those above 35), placenta previa (a painless bleeding in the third semester of which average risk of developing this condition during pregnancy is 1 in 200) which can cause hemorrhage that can be life threatening to the mother and the infertility issues.  IVF is out of the question since aside from it being so expensive, the success rate varies depending on the age of the woman.  Note the percentage below.

* 29.6% for women under 35 years old;
* 23.6% for women aged 35 - 37 years old;
* 18.2% for women aged 38 - 39 years old;
* 10.0% for women aged 40 - 42 years old;
* 3.2% for women aged 43 - 44 years old;
* 0.8% for women aged over 44 years.

Since I belong to the 40-42 years old, the chances of success rate would just be 10%.  For this reason, I might kiss goodbye to my over AU$7000.  Good thing though, here in Australia, there is such thing as Medicare rebate of which a part of your expenses would be returned  to you...around AU$5000.  So you see, the what ifs are so gigantic in our minds when we were planning to have babies.

My husband asked me before I got pregnant with my older daughter, "What if we are not given the chance to be parents? What would you feel?"  I would often answer him with another question, "How would you feel if it is just going to be me and you?"  He would always tell me, "as long as we have each other, we will still be happy and we will grow old together."  I think I would say yes each time but in my mind and in my heart, I can never feel complete if I don't get pregnant.  It was a roller coaster ride with me...with all my emotions. Each time my period would come, oh dear, I would really cry and my heart was broken into pieces...but my husband stuck by be all those times.  He would always tell me that there would be a next time and that maybe I should stop stressing about it...thinking too much about it.  That's what my mother and my mother in law would tell me too.  That's how wonderful my husband is and our families on both sides.

My husband and I started researching more about getting pregnant...the things we need to do...the vitamins we need to take.  He went home one time with this big bottle of folic acid.  He said he found out the folic acids are good for someone who wants to get pregnant and so I took them everyday religiously.  He also bought fruits and veggies that are rich in folic acids - papaya, brocolli, peas, grapes, and some wholemeal products.

We both prayed a lot too.  My principal at Miriam College - GS in the Philippines, Ms. Gail, gave me this wonderful prayer booklet which has a beautiful prayer for someone who wants to get pregnant.  It's a novena that I did for 9 consecutive nights.  I am a Catholic.  I believe in the bible passage - ask and you shall receive and  knock and it shall be opened. 

Everything paid off...I got pregnant!!!! That of course will be another story...

growing up pains1

Coming from a lower middle - class family is not that easy. Growing up in a Filipino family where you are the eldest is not that easy either. You are expected to be the most responsible child. You need to model the values that a good daughter should show.
In the life of a single woman, your family is your priority. That has been my priority.
My parents had worked so hard...literally turning nights into days just to make sure that all our needs will be provided for. My father was a tailor and my mother was a seamstress (My friends would always find this so sweet...a sort of made for each other). They have a little shop inside our old house in the barrio. Their clients would usually be public teachers, students and neighbours. They were very well known in our town (still are) and even to those living outside the town. I tell you, they did really make good quality clothes then even if the price they charged their customers was not really that big. There were good and bad clients. The good ones would pay when they got their clothes and sometimes they would even give tips. The bad ones would not pay but would promise to pay sometime...someday (?) I remember that there were a lot of times that my mother or my father would even go to the house of those who owed them to get promised payment only to go home with nothing. I do remember too how I felt each time I would see them in that situation. I had witnessed how much time and effort would they put to work only to find out that the clients wouldn't pay them. I had witnessed those ungrateful customers saying awful things to them. I began to feel anger inside me towards those people. I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to take them out of that situation. I studied hard and likewise my siblings did the same. I did not have a boyfriend when I was getting my degree. I was so scared to become a failure. When I graduated, I landed a job and focused more on earning money and helping my siblings get their degrees. They did finished the university and have families on their own now.
The sacrifices and the love of my parents are immeasurable. Even if sometimes we would not disagree on some things then, I have always been so proud of my parents. I am so grateful for what they have done to us, their children. As a tribute to them, I would also give the same love and care to my two daughters.

Mum on the go!

I have been planning for ages to blog about my being a mum and share this wonderful experience with everyone but I haven't had the itch to do it for real. So here I am finally, starting to blog backwards because I feel I have to start at the beginning so people would find something that might in one way or the other help you. I believe that everyone has a mother's heart...and everyone can be a mother. See, I started late in life but I have had a lot of practice. Being a teacher for 16 years and being an aunt to a cool nephew and cute niece had prepared me to this big role called "MUM."
Why "mum on the go?" Well, I feel whether you're a working mum or a stay-at- home mum like I am, you're always on the go since you're a mother 24/7. Even when you're awake or asleep you are still a mum. Your dreams, thoughts, feelings and your whole being is a MUM. You never really stop. This is not just a role but a starring role and you're the lead star in your own movie.